Boredom is weird thing. Most of the time you can’t come to a logical conclusion of why you are bored; and you are bored to trace any emotional and psychological reasons behind it. Maybe because the reasons of boredom is ‘out of this world’! If we try meticulously then we can conclude that there are many types of boredom-Boredom of meeting people caused by a specific group of people; boredom of doing something, caused by doing something; boredom of moving from a place, caused by moving from places to places. Weird! Cause and effect both are identical. And then there is some serious boredom, which reason we can’t and don’t want to fathom.
Sheela was that kind of bored right now. And she’s been in this stage for few months now. Initially this boredom was transient, it used to house in Sheela’s mind for shorter time, and then she used to find things much exciting than the solace. But now she was stuck in a daily life. She was working now. She is from a middle class city, from a middle class family. But she is working in a bank in Mumbai-a basic nine to five job. She actually wanted such kind of job; because she thought she will get much free time to do the other things. But she didn’t aware of the life in the big city. She has to leave the home 2 hours before her office time and used to come home 2 hours after office. Adding to this she had a comparatively irritating roommate, who was overtly curious in other’s thing and life; plus she has a boyfriend too. Giving time to her boyfriend had become a ritual now. It’s not that there love has dried up, but she wanted something from herself. Not from anyone else, but from herself. And obviously her pursuit of happiness was taking toll on her boyfriend and their relationship. But she thinks that she was right, and all the other people also should find and pursue something different that usual. She can’t define what different and what usual mean.
So one day she decided that she will take some time off in her head, she will reserve a specific volume of brain for her ‘different’ things. But that was not to happen; she got extra work at the office on that day. She thought she will finish that work in record time so she could have time for herself, but for that she will have to open those reserved brain cells and have to put them to work. Fair trade, she thought. But on the same day her boyfriend had plans of going out, and he was audibly upset over the phone because of her absence.
Her target of finishing the work was postponed by two hours, meanwhile. She finished the work, and now there was no point going out just for the sake of it, still she called her boyfriend but he had gone out with his friends, and was drunk. Ok, as it is she didn’t want to go; but she really got upset by this thing. Ok if nobody cares for her, she cares for no one. But the phone rang, it was her mother, asking about her dinner, and overwork, and health. She hung up as fast as she can, of course after answering all the questions.
She came to her flat, after two hours. Her flat was a mess, there was a pizza box lying on the floor, loads of dishes in basin, and her roommate. Her roommate was trying out clothes in front of the mirror. After watching Sheela she shrieked, “We have a party tomorrow in the office, and can I wear your dress?” she has gone through her clothes and found out a perfect dress for her. Sheela nodded. “Which one will suit me?” the roommate shrieked again. But Sheela didn’t answer; instead she went in the bedroom and crashed in the bed.
What the heck, she had decided to live on her own terms, but nothing is going right. She decided it will not go for long; she will take some time off. She will pack her bags and will hit the road, RIGHT NOW!!
She pulled her sack from the wardrobe; her clothes were already out of the wardrobe. She packed some clothes she bought to wear on an outing but didn’t get any chance. She threw in sunscreen lotion, toothpaste, mobile charger, comb, shampoo bottle, soap, paper napkins, water bottle, water purifier, coffee pouches, magi packets, mug, and yawn! She was ready to go now. Yes she was ready to go NOW! Yawn! She thought if she leaves now, she will get no commute; she will reach at odd place at odd time. So why not leave tomorrow morning, very early morning, she reminded herself. And it’s better to go to hibernate state, so when she will wake up tomorrow she will be back on the same excitement level as of now. Early morning!!!!
Early morning, and she has left the house. It was really early morning, it was still dark and there was no sign of sunrise. She was standing on the bus stop. She checked the money in her wallet. She was feeling so stupid, she had decided to take where the wind takes her, and she was standing on the bus stop. Ok. She thought she will go to the nearest highway and then find a bus. She took an auto-rickshaw and got down near Mumbai Goa highway. Goa, her mind said subconsciously, it was the ultimate and most popular place for very popular adventure lovers.
She thought she will take the first bus going anywhere, but she left one bus going in the other direction. Finally she got a bus going south. She was feeling so proud of herself when she told the conductor to give her ONE ticket for the LAST STOP! She was enjoying the cool breeze of her independence, coming from the shuddering window. Finally she was proving her point. She was smiling continuously and enjoying the strange gazes by the strangers. She decided to remain happy. “Arrey close the window, the wind is so cold!” an old lady from the backside yelled from her muffler covered mouth. It was not that cold, Sheela thought, but she wants to be happy. So she closed the window.
After an hour the sun’s light became white and it was warm. The old lady from the backseat, now, said affectionately, “you can open the window now beta, I am a bit sick and can’t tolerate cold air. Where are you going?” “It’s OK Aaji; I’m going where the bus is going!” She is so smart, and her ‘different’ juices seem to be flowing out now! Soon they both got talking. The old lady is from a small town in konkan, and she has come to attend a wedding, she was accompanied by her granddaughter. “Do you have seashore in your village?” Sheela who has never been in a sea, asked. “Yes, you should come in our gaon, and particularly in this season, its mango season now. Get down with us!” Aaji said jokingly, and she got unexpected affirmative reply from Sheela! Sheela then tried to explain how she has no particular destination to go, and she wants to chill out a little, etc. But now Aaji was little hostile, how she can really take a stranger girl to her home. But Sheela assured her that she will not be a bojh on her or her family member, she will find her arrangement to reside. Aaji was still uncomfortable with this mentality of a young girl, she nodded confusingly.
So they got down at a town. Here onwards, they will have to travel by a tumtum to aaji’s village. Aaji’s daughter was super excited with Sheela coming to their home, and was chattering consistently. Sheela paid for her own fare. Aaji met other people from their village in the tumtum. It seems everybody knows everybody here. Aaji introduced Sheela to everyone as her guest. They got down near the main bazaar of the village. Sheela was so excited and happy. The sound and smell of this bazaar was way different than Mumbai’s crowd. It smelt fresh fishes, fresh vegetables, and fresh MANGOES! Sheela took the kid, aaji’s granddaughter, with her and bought a variety of mango that are sucked. Sheela remembered the days when she was a kid. She used to open these mangoes and the juices used to flow along her arms on her clothes and all over her face. She was eating the mango in the same style now, shedding all the inhibitions of a city girl. She wants to go to the beach. She asked Aaji the address of her house and way to the beach. She said she will come to aaji’s place in the afternoon.
She was almost running towards the beach, holding a mango in one hand, and the other hand supporting her sack. First she smelled the salty sea air, without a hint of staleness, and then she heard the roaring sound of sea. Her heart was pouncing in her chest; she was not been so much excited in a long time. It was awesome. Yellow fine sand was everywhere in that town. People were so happy, clean and tidy, they were looking curiously at this girl in 3/4th Capri, loose T-shirt and colourful bag, running waywardly. There was a small jungle of bigger shrubs. Sheela was sure she will find sea on the other side of it. She increased her speed, the sound of sea was increasing, and a turn and she will find the sea. But she stopped, she was breathing hastily. She thought of her life, the things she wanted to do, her journey from the morning, it was still morning and she was nearer to herself. She didn’t know she will find herself so near! She turned back, looked at the distant roofs of the town, looked up in the blue sky, breathed deeply; she could taste the sand through her nostrils. She started walking backwards, towards the sea, she was guided by the breeze, and the hands of the sea were guiding her. It was silent, very silent, only the enormous sound of the waves, calling her name. She knew she is on the beach now. She closed her eyes in joy, her heart beats slowed down, she was breathing inconsistently. Her heart almost stopped beating, and then she turned around, the sound of the sea panned from left to right and right to left. She opened her eyes. Everything vanished, Sheela herself vanished.
And she started running towards the sea, the waves were signalling her to come in. She took off her bag, her sandals, and she shot in the sea. The sudden soft resistance of the waves, she was not prepared for this and she fell in. She was laughing out loud. The waves were like her long lost friends, they were happy to find her between themselves too. She went deep, she wasn’t afraid of the water; she was a good swimmer, though it’s her first encounter with the sea. In Mumbai she used to hate the black ugly sea. But this was a different sea, pure, warm hearted, blue! She felt the real love, pure love, without the name of any relation. Just Love!
She wanted to go in, inside the sea, deep. She looked around and found 2-3 stray boats on the shore. She got out, took her things, and went there. A young koli was looking at her for a long time. Sheela was overwhelmed and exhausted by now, but still was excited. The young koli smiled at her brightly. “Are you going in? Can you take me in to the sea?” Sheela requested. “This is not a tourist boat Tai” the koli explained. “I’m not a tourist, I’m a wanderer. Just take me with you, I can pay you.” Sheela really wanted to go in. “But I will come back late in the after noon.” “That’s OK” “let me ask kaka” There was an old kaka sitting in another boat. He said it’s a bad omen to take a lady on a boat when you are going for a business, to catch fish. Young koli argued with him for a while.
He came back to Sheela. “Kaka will not like it, but you can come if you want.” The young koli said and extended his hand for support. Sheela was jumping up and down and got on board. The koli pushed his boat in the sea. It was a small wooden boat, with no shelter. A white nylon net was lying in the front half of the boat. Sheela was sitting in the middle. Sheela was curious about koli’s daily life. The koli was explaining the technique of catching fish and types of fish. Sheela was trying to know the harm the fishing cause to the environment; she was an environment conscious city girl! But she dropped the topic; she was here to get to know herself. She came to know quite a few things about herself. They have come quite a distance now; the koli was busy in setting the net for catching fish. The land was too far. Sheela looked towards the bare chest koli; she was a young beautiful girl away from the shore with a stranger. Koli looked back at him, smiled broadly. Sheela remembered he called her Tai- elder sister. The sea was cleaner and calm here, there was no signs of waves.
Sheela was playing with the water. She wanted to get in the deep blue water. She asked koli, “dada can I dive inside? I can swim.” Koli asked her to dive in the opposite side as he has lain net in this side, and asked to be aware of the net. Sheela was pleased. She took off her bag; put her wallet in the bag. And was ready to dive in, getting in to the deep, caring sea. She believed she will find something more about herself in the sea, every time the sea gives you something. She removed her sandals. She sat on the edge of the boat turning her back to the sea, took a deep breath and left the edge of the boat, falling backwards...
The last thing before splashing in the water she realized was her phone ringing in her pocket, she had forgotten to keep it in the bag. And SPLASH!!!
It was her boyfriend was calling; the phone sank into the water. He heard, “The person you are trying to reach is busy on another CALL!!!!!”
5 comments:
It begins with an air of an essay about boredom.Like one of those Bacon essays.Sheela represents more or less everyone of us.We always have same complaints about not being able to spare time for ourselves.Some of us try to find a solution out, some r happy with what they r because they dont want to try getting out.Here Sheela being a girl involves a bit of genderism rather than simply being a representative of human race.This piece of work would have been short of many details if it would have been a boy.'The strange gazes of the strangers' has less chances for a boy doing the same thing. Aaji turning hostile and uncomfortable, and also at the end,the 'Tai-Dada' thingy.Psychological insight can be seen here. The roommate trying out her clothes reminded me of my roommate.Sheela eating mango freely and diving into the sea r two best images expressing the execution of her plan of casting away all the bondages and being herself. One thing makes me wonder, if country is refuge for city people, what should country people do? Are u trying to say they r always happy there?Or they r in a perfect situation? The shift from inner recesses of the girl and the world she encounters is handles so very well.A good write up i say. But where did it come from? From u wanting to and planning to do the same or u not being able to do it? When i was reading i felt this can't end now, i wanted to know more. what happens to Sheela at the end of her voyage. Where is she on the scale of knowing herself and being free. And what is actually knowing yourself and being free? is it of any use? Sometimes we know it so very clearly, what we are and what we want to do. But circumstances stop us, hold us back. They chock us and our vision of ourselves that in a course of time we turn to a tube light from a laser.
I don't want to say that country people are always happy, actually i didn't want to comment on their happiness in this particular piece. But when you change your surroundings you either find the new people around you happier or sad than you. I chose happiness.
And it didn't come from my cravings to go on such voyages. I'm a boy I just can't dream of going, I can go without any hesitation!
hmm accha hai jo bhi hai accha hai
sahi hai bhidu !!!!!
anandache dohi anand tarang.
YO!
very cute....
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