Preface

Don’t you ever fear that one day this will just be a memory and nothing else? I mean I’m not talking about destruction and evolution and wars when this all will be lost or changed forever but just that this, right this right now will be turned into a memory, a figment of some stupid chemical reaction in your brain, just a bunch of modified brain cells. What’s the point of living in a reality, if it’s so volatile? It’s better to live in dreams. Well, the dream itself is just another figment but at least it is consistent. The feeling is more homogeneous. But then again it’s not personal ever, the daydreams. We always dream with or for someone, it’s a projection of our entity, our being, my being. We want to shy away from technology when we think of personal feelings and stuff. We want them to be original, but then we base our daydreams on them, which is a projection, and yearn for them to be presentable, and then we have to incorporate technology, I have to, technology not in terms of bits and circuits, but in terms of managing data and creating a workflow. And then I realize that this is better, the unlived life, the could-have-been and should-have-been moments, the stolen moments, and the fabricated moments. I always modify my memory on the RAM before sending it to the permanent storage in my brain. But then I start to think that the whole of mankind does that because I’m a unit of mankind. Like, scientists and statisticians only test and observe a random set of individual entities to conclude. I’m the only entity that I know most about and can experiment with. Experimenting with other humans would be cruel, not that I don’t do it! But you can’t come to a solid conclusion if you experiment with others. It’d just be a hypothesis, a theory at best. So here I am, the only guinea pig of a mad scientist! The only option left, as seen in many mainstream movies and comics is to experiment on yourself, and be a Doc Ock, or a sandman, or Agent Smith, or Nick Nolte’s character. But again that’s mainstream, money-oriented representations. Intellectuals fucking hate them! Mostly because they can’t stand that a mainstream character can come that close to what they are thinking. I might be wrong, I always am based on my statistical studies. But then what? I’m not talking about reality, it’s a dream (again because of the dearth of my vocabulary!) Dreams are alternate realities. They are self-sufficient. They don’t need your stupid laws of physics, chemistry and morality. Each one has an ongoing dream running between their senses and the brain. Trying to place the things we perceive in our dreams always tires us. It doesn’t work always. Sometimes the reality is so harsh that we/I will have to modify my dreams. Sometimes I will have to create places for the bits of reality I want to accept. For rest, well they can seek refuge in the conspiracy theories, and again be a part of some other alternate reality. Do you see where this duality between me and we is coming from? I as a human want to simplify things to perceive them better, and at the same time, I want to generalize them so to categorise them better for any future altercations, and in the way of doing so I also want to reaffirm my place as a human, or a robotic human, or whatever homo-next-sapiens species we have become. That’s the duality. I want to be unique and want to merge at the same time. That’s how advertisers tap us. Every mass-produced product is marketed in a way that would always make you feel unique and special, and it does. I would choose coca-cola over Pepsi. Because that’s the choice I have, or I can either be a green tea person, a naturalist, a glutton free, or an idiot. We will have to categorise ourselves to fit in. Individuality is a personal thing and is a hoax in the real world. I don’t even express myself to even myself, and how can I expect myself to be an individual? Even when thinking to myself I rarely communicate beyond languages. I talk to myself in Marathi, Hindi or English, and then I want to express, I want to talk, write. So, I again use a language. English typing is easy so mostly I use English, even though I know I’m not smooth in that, and that has already started fading my versatility in my native languages, which I’ve learnt to listen and talk first. The grammar has changed; the accent has adorned a weird sub or semi-regional tint. And now in the categorized world, I can’t place my individuality and thus it doesn’t exist. It starts to change the moment I start thinking of expressing myself. Maybe that’s not the case for many, but language is just one onus of expression. When I hear that a certain language has a word for something that doesn’t have a word in the languages I know, then I feel cracked. Enough of languages, it just underlines the inferiority complex. But yeah, I think everyone bears the expressions on some tools, language is just one of them. And the content starts to get mudified (I didn’t want to say muddified, because change is good, modifications open new possibilities!) So how do I end this? Just like that? Let’s just say it’s a preface, and I’m going to keep it unedited, with all the grammar and spelling and sensical and contextual mistakes (well they wouldn’t be mistakes if historically they would have been followed this style, right? like -ise and -ize baby!) Okay.

Let’s just say it’s a preface, and I’m going to keep it unedited, with all the grammar and spelling and sensical and contextual mistakes (well they wouldn’t be mistakes if historically they would have been followed this style, right? like -ise and -ize baby!) Okay.